Daughters

Our daughters are special to us; I am talking about daughters in general. They make us laugh when we are down, they make us smile when no one else can, and they look at you with those sweet little eyes and make you melt. I know that we have to be hard on them sometimes, but it is only because we love them. We want to protect them from everyone and everything that we feel may hurt them, and we just want them to never leave our sight. I know they may feel like we don’t know anything about what is going on in the world because we were born before them in another era, but that is where they are wrong. They also think that they know everything about everything, but they do not. I just do not know what goes on in their mind, but in all reality, we are the ones that they’re always asking questions about the good old days. ©2020

Fashion Then and Now

Fashion has changed dramatically from when I was a kid. I had to wear dresses seven days a week, rain, shine ,sleet , or snow. I don’t even remember when I started wearing jeans. I would see other girls in short skirts that were almost not there. Some just did not care as to how they dressed. As I look at the trends that are being worn now, some of it is just deplorable, and they actually have the nerve to think that it looks good, but they are only broadcasting all of their goodies to those that do not need to be seeing it. Will there ever be a time when fashion will be tasteful without the goodies being shown? I am not saying that people can’t wear what they want, and I am not bashing anyone, it is just that it makes me laugh whenever I see things like that in public. Be who you are, and be comfortable in what you have on. ©2020

The First One Left

Happy was the heart in my chest that beat so strong. Life of another that was our first to bring real joy that had not been for a very long time. Loved I did from the fist moment found out that she was on her way to be with us. Somewhere along the way she decided that she didn’t want to be here. She left. Maybe the things going on in the world was to much for her to endure as she thought about the journey she was about to make. She went back home. She went to a better place than what we have here. She went to a place where there is no suffering, no pain, no sorrow…nothing to keep her from being happy.

Maybe she would have not been happy here, who knows except the One that created her. Yes, my heart is filled with pain of loss, and my eyes are filled with tears of sadness. The pain in my heart is vey sharp; the grief is very real. It is to the point of anger filled with rage.

The pain comes when it comes and tears follow. I am talking about our first grandchild. I named her little bit. She took a little bit of my heart with her; maybe she needed a piece of it to hold on to just to know that her Grammy loves her. I know she is in heaven smiling down here on us. No one knows why sometimes a child just does not make it, but God knows best. He doesn’t make any mistakes.

The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord, Amen. ©2020

BETTER DAYS

As days has turned to months, there has been better days. There has been laughter and fun to turn our frowns into smiles. The tears of our eyes has gone away so I am happy for the better days. I thank God for always comforting us in our time of sorrows, griefs, and pains. I am thankful for the life that God gives to us everyday. I am thankful for the sun and the rain that He lets us enjoy. I am thankful for every season that come and go every year. I am thankful that my daughter has not let this tragedy get her down. I am glad that she has held on to the hope and faith that she has in God; and I am thankful that she loves Him the way that she does. She knows that He will bless her again to have another child when time comes, when the time is right. She can see that the time was not right for her to bring a child into the world with the way things are now. Maybe one day things will be better in the world to introduce a newborn life. I pray that there will be more better days to come. ©2021

TURNING 18

Turning eighteen is something I was not prepared for. My baby girl is all grown up now. She grew up so fast…where did the time go? I remember when we brought her home on Valentine’s Day, it was raining just like it is now. It was the sweetest moment in the world. I never thought I would have another girl. Just holding my baby brought tears to my eyes, because I knew one day she would grow up and leave her mother and break my heart. Just as I predicted happened, but now she is back where she belongs. I hope that she will never leave me again. I will never stop her if she wants to go though because she has to live her own life one day. I will always remember the times I would dress her and comb her hair, and bathe her. I will always remember when I taught her how to spell her name. I will never forget when she started school, I knew right then that it was not going to be long before she grew up. Time files when you are having fun with those that you love.

Eighteen years came fast, and it is going to go by even faster. All of my children are grown now, but she is the only one that is still here with me and her dad. I just want her to have the best of everything. I just want her to be happy all of her life. I want all of my children to be happy and successful in their lives. I really miss the times when I would hold her and rock her to sleep. I remember when she was sick, and we were at the hospital, I held her in my lap just like I did when she was small and rocked her to sleep while we waited for the doctor to call us back. Those are the things that I miss most. NO matter how old she gets, she will always be our baby. We will always love her just as much as we did when she was born. Our sweet girl. ©2021

Its Been a Year

As I think about our grandbaby, Little Bit, it has been a year that she has been gone. I wonder how she would look. I wonder how her little voice would sound like. I wonder about all of the things I would have bought her.

I still grieve at times, but I deal with it in my own way. Some days I am just quiet, and other days I write. When I am really in tears, it is hard for me to stop crying. See, I wanted to be the best grandmother ever. I wanted to give my daughter and her baby everything. There is nothing that I would not done for the both of them.

I know God doesn’t make any mistakes. I often wonder why He took her back. I know that He knows how I feel. Some days I wish I could turn back the hands of time hoping things would be different…if things could have been better. If her little life could have been saved. To know that she is in heaven is a comfort to me. She is a little beautiful angel. I hope Jesus will tell her who her grandmother is, and her grandfather. I know she would have bought us so much joy. Before she left, she made me so happy.  When she left my heart shattered. Talking about it helps  me to get over the pain of it. At one point I thought I was going to need grief counseling. Maybe I still do, I will think about it though. Hopefully one day my daughter will settle down and live her life in the right way. I want her to have someone who is going to treat her right. Well, I have said everything I am feeling for now. Until next time, may God reign in our heart. ©2021

Our Baby Girl

Our sweet baby girl has been away from us for almost a year now. It has been hard for me though, but God has given us the strength to hold on and have faith that she will return home to us. So many tears we have cried for our baby. She is our last child forever. We love and miss her so much. I hope that when it is all over this will be the last time she will be away from us.

Whenever I go into her room, sometimes I cry because she is not here for me to talk to her. I miss having someone to do my nails with, hair, and make up with. I often tell myself that she is on her way home, but she just has to make a few stops along the way.

I hope that this new coming year will be better for us than this year was. I pray for prosperity, protection, and everything we need and want. To began to get out of debt, to get my credit score up, to have my own house, and to get my own vehicle. I plan to go back to school to continue my education. I am getting my service turned back on soon. I miss using my computers, I am thankful for my phone, but this has gotten old. I will be able to do all of my recordings for my podcasts, and I will be able to write more articles. I will use my phone when I am out and about, but when I am at home I will use my computers. I want to get all of the equipment I need for my shows to be better.

I am thinking about turning my other room into a studio and a study so I can have a place to record and study.  It will be better than sitting in the living room and the kitchen. My baby will help me with everything I need to do to get things set up when time comes.  I am sure it will not be long. Until then I will just wait because it is too much for me to do alone. This has been some kind of year. What will next year bring? Until then may God be praised. ©2021