Today started off just fine until I was ticked off. Instead of arguing about it, I left. I had to get away before I lost it all together. I am going through enough as it is, and I am alright though, but I just had to get away. I am trying so hard to get rid of things I do not want to hold on to. I am trying to change in good ways. Some of my old ways are trying to creep back in because of how I feel about being called names. When that happens, I see red, and I don’t want to be angry and filled with hate. I just want to be happy with myself, and feel good about myself everyday. I don’t need to be around anyone who’s going to bring me down.
Maybe this is just what I needed. Maybe I just needed some time alone to myself to think about the things I want to do in the coming year. I actually got up walked out of the house and left. I don’t like being called names like stupid and slow, because I’m not any of those things. I am smart, beautiful, and multi talented. I am unique. I am the only me there is in this world. I am to be respected, loved, and cared for.
What does a person profit calling someone out of their name? Do they understand that words hurt! Do they realize that words can cause destruction in a person’s life! I am so hurt right now! I just want to scream!!! I am trying to remember all of the positive things my daughter told me about myself. I wish she were here to lift me up.
My son told me that maybe I should go to the park sometimes and commune with nature, so, this is where I am…at the park sitting on a bench listening to the sounds around me. Looking at these paintings is relaxing, but there is a squirrel chattering at me from the tree in front of me. I feel a since of peace that I didn’t have at first. I know I will have to hear about this when I go home, but if I do, I will just leave again. I needed this time to myself. This is something I normally wouldn’t do, but I guess it’s a first time for everything. I guess I will go home now. It is getting late. I enjoyed myself alone. Until next time, thank you for following me on my journey with Food for the Soul. ©2021
Food for the Soul 