Dealing With Depression

I have been suffering with depression for a very long time. It all started when I was just a child, but to no avail I was never treated for it; it was just swept under the rug. For years I have been praying that it would go away on its own, but it has not.

Struggling with depression has held me back in my life from a lot of things that are important to me, such as holding a job, finishing school, and it has robbed me of my happiness that I once had. Years has come and gone but it is still the same for me.

I never thought that my life would be this way. Everyday is different for me. Some days I manage to get up and do things that I enjoy, like writing, drawing, writing music, and cooking. I spend most of my days just thinking about how my life should be, or could be if I were not suffering from this.

There are days when I am so happy and everything is alright, and there are days when I am not happy at all; as a matter of fact I am sometimes angry. I am angry because I do not like being depressed. I do not like feeling like there is no hope for me, no joy, no happiness, no love, no nothing, no peace in my mind that will make me feel and be normal.

Depression causes me to become more emotional than usual. Little thing’s. Things that happened to me in my life, things that was said to me to make me feel less than, being bullied, called out of my name. Some say that words don’t hurt, but they do. Feelings are hurt , sometimes things like that are hard to let go of.

When I awake from sleeping, I always take a deep breath. I do that because it refreshes me from the inside out. It helps me to release bad vibes. I know that may sound strange, but it works for me.

Living with depression for me is like being on a rollercoaster that only goes up and down from day to day. It is different, but it is not easy to come out of, it is not easy to get off of, and it feels like chains weighing me down, it feels like hands with grips that I cannot pull away from.

Through it all I try to be positive in my thinking so I will not lose my mind. I try to focus on the good things that I enjoy. I watch my favorite movies, eat my favorite foods, drink my favorite soft drink, read my favorite books. I sometimes go outside just to feel the sun on my face. I enjoy listening to the birds sing. I enjoy listening to my favorite music, and sometimes I just want to be alone in the quiet to think, and pray to God that I will be delivered from this disease called depression.

It is not fun feeling like this all of the time. It gets old. It robs me of my sleep sometimes, it makes me very edgy. It really frustrates me to the point to where I just want to scream. Depression hurts; it really does. The stress from it, and the anxiety from it is even worse. When it is that bad, I just cry because it hurts. It causes me to lash out, throw things.

It all comes from things that I have gone through in my life. Everyone gets depressed at some point, but for me it has been a life long battle. Hiding it will only make things worse, and letting it out feels good, but then after it is all said and done energy is lost that you just cannot get back. Time is lost that you can never get back.

I just pray that God will deliver me from this so I can live my life happy. I do not want anymore time taken from me because of this disease that has robbed me of my happiness.

If there are others suffering from depression, Pray for God’s divine healing. I know for myself that there are different medications out there, and people with licenses that we can talk to, but God has all of the answers that we need to help us overcome this that we are having to face from day to day.

All praises be to our God our Father, His Son, Jesus Christ our Savior, who was and is and is to come. Amen!